“If You Want to Draw a Bird, You Must Become The Bird."
By: Jhong Ren | Posted: 30th July 2007
There is a wise saying “If you want to draw a bird, you must become the bird.” It meant to really understand one thing fully, we must be that thing.
Everyday, we have hurdles. We find ourselves panting jumping over obstacles, only to realize there is another mountain to conquer. We are almost short of breathes and dying and wanting to give up.
Everyday, when our spouse comes back home and they having gon through through an unimaginable day of tossing in and out (or to be exact, being tossed around by others)
There is so much inner voices going on inside them and they just can't wait to go back home to release the pent-up emotion to someone who s/he really trusts.They are only seeking for a listening ear, only to forget the other party also went through a hellish day and is not prepared to hear what his or her partner is pouring out.
There are many times we thought we really understand our love ones, only to realise at the end of the day we knew nothing.
Whatever we thought we knew was just an illusion…
There are alot of times we thought we knew how much hurdles our partner went through and we thought we understand. We so carelessly and simply push away the feelings our partners are trying to explain when s/he shares about the problems s/he is facing.
What are some of the common replies when someone pours his or her heart out?
1. “It is okay”
2. “Don’t think so much, ok?”
3. “Things will be okay.”
4. “Don’t think so much.”
5. “Why are you thinking so much?”
And there are many more other examples that you can give.
What happen next? How do we react? Do we share more or shut off?
I believe we could never understand how torturous or uncomfortable when our partner said so. we have different definition of the same word and we understand different extent of discomfort.
Imagine yourself confiding with someone who you usually confide in. How often do that person can 100% understand what you are feeling or experiencing?
It is tough to fully experience what the other person had experienced. Anyway whatever had happened is already over. We couldn’t go back in time.
So what we could hear is from the story-teller who is the person sharing his or her own version of the story. So why don’t we really listen with both our ears and our heart?
About the Author
Occupation: social worker
Jhong Ren runs My Wedding Blog- an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out http://www.romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.
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Tags: extent, emotion, love, illusion, feelings, obstacles, heart, hurdles, 3 things, alot, listening ear