Making Relationship Works
By: Jhong Ren | Posted: 30th July 2007
Marriage is a funny thing. We look forward to it so much and spend our entire savings on having the best wedding we can have.
And yet, newly-wed or long-term married couples do quarrel and have conflicts every now and then.
Likewise, courtship experience such patterns.
When you see the girl of your dream, you are determined to have her as your stead. And once you got her, maintaining the relationship requires more effort and hard work.
Moving from a stead-status to a wife-status becomes a partnership.
Similarly for marriage, it requires a life-time of commitment, perseverance, understanding and many more factors to build a strong foundation.
Planning wedding is easy. The tasks are simple. If some of you may find wedding-planning overwhelming, a hundred more times load and stress await you in marriage life.
I was talking to my female friend who had a tiff or two with her boyfriend once in a while. It is normal for many relationship. Even the best of friends do have disagreements once in a while.
They may be in the form of short spat, all-out shouting matches or stony silence.
Sometimes, when we see other couples communicating in this unhealthy manner, we remind ourselves not to. However, many times we forget what we once reminded ourselves to do.
If you are having some minor conflicts or engaging a cold war with your other party, you may like to take this approach: 1. Give your partner a chance to express his thoughts and feelings. 2. Don’t make any judgement, don’t interrupt and see it as his own opinion. 3. Then, express what you think and feel too. 4. Discuss what can be better done next time by you.
It is easier to own the problem rather than expecting what the other party can do. And if he doesn’t do it, you may get disappointed.
As for me and my wife, we settle our disagreement on the same day and apologize to each other, no matter who is right or wrong.
A final big hug for each other normally make us forget what happened actually.
About the Author
Occupation: social worker
Jhong Ren runs My Wedding Blog- an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out http://www.romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.
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Tags: judgement, perseverance, disagreement, strong foundation, funny thing, thoughts and feelings, courtship, married couples, wedding planning, stead, big hug, disagreements, best of friends, life time, tiff, female friend, cold war, marriage life