The Lonely Wedding
By: Jhong Ren | Posted: 26th August 2007
Planning wedding can lead to cancellation, break up or even suicide. Sounds scary isn’t it?
Why is it that the supposedly happiest moment of our times can turn out to be in this way?
Actually, many things can happen during the planning process.
When bride and groom are put on the firing line which makes or even forces them to commit to each other, we called it putting them out of their comfort zone.
Being out of the comfort zone makes people feel uncomfortable. It challenges their capabilities, beliefs and level of commitment.
If a guy says he is committed to the bride, does he just say it because he wants her to accept the wedding ring or does he say it because he truly means it?
If a bride says that she believes in the groom and will go through good or bad times, is she just repeating what the minister is saying or is she ready to swim through the deepest ocean with him?
Again you can see that saying and really believing in what they said are two different matters.
We can always see the depth of beliefs of couples when they are put on the line.
I remembered I have a friend whose ex-boyfriend always mentioned to her that he really loved her and was ready to die for her. He was even physically stuck to her like two inseparable magnets during friends’ gathering and it was kind of disgusting to us who saw these scenes.
However, this boyfriend had the habits of hurling verbal abuse at her and had even physically slapped her when they were in private.
Oh my! I can give this guy the best acting award for being such an “ideal” boyfriend!
In fact, if you really think about it, it could be really lonely for the girl to live in such a world where everyone thought that she had a loving boyfriend.
Many times, most brides who had such boyfriends do still continue to form families with them.
They do it because firstly, they still love them and secondly, inside them they have these strong beliefs that their men will change for the better once after thier wedding.
However, they only come to realise that they have been always day-dreaming when some of the grooms couldn’t change their habits and are not really supportive in the wedding-planning process.
Of course, there are some grooms who changed for the better.
These brides whose grooms remained the same, had a tough time juggling their stress at work and in wedding planning. Sooner or later, they gave up on their weddings and on themselves.
I’m not sure how many of you have heard of such similar stories before in your own circle of friends. If they are your friends, do be there for them as they really need you.
About the Author
Occupation: social worker
Jhong Ren runs My Wedding Blog- an online wedding diary that gives more than just the usual tips and advice on a daily basis. Check out http://www.romance-fire.com now and by all means leave us your comments, share some of your own wedding experiences and give us some suggestions for new resources we can recommend to our community.
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Tags: capabilities, many things, suicide, brides, couples, comfort zone, bride and groom, magnets, wedding ring, cancellation, boyfriends, verbal abuse