A long poem and video diary of my life
As a little girl she wanted nothing more than love
She was so beautiful, so sweet; filled with innocence
With a compassionate heart
And eyes glowing with radiance
Gentle by nature
A spirit so pure
Its such a shame
For much tragedy, did she endure
Beaten and battered day in and day out
Fearful of anything so young in life
What kind of parents would subject such a wonderful child
To these conditions, terror and strife?
She wanted to dance across the moon
Grow wings and fly
Over the mountains and sea
And way up high in the sky
She buried the pain
Deep down inside
She smiled outwardly
But every night, she cried
She prayed for parents who would love her
She wanted to get away
Her prayers were answered
She was taken one day
She went into the foster system
Only to be abused all the same
Between her self-esteem and pain
She turned the next few years into an anorexic game
It gave her hope and control
Something she desperately desired
But she grew so ill
So weary and tired
She turned eighteen
She was out on her own
She wanted this for so long so why was she so sad
Why did she just want to die, why was she all alone?
She dated the wrong men, lost a few pregnancies, and made so many mistakes
She still longed for parents and a family full of love
Then one day her prayers were answered
As God sent her a miracle from Heaven above
She met a couple who wanted to help
She was rescued from her mountain of sorrow
Adopted nine days shy of twenty-one
She went to sleep with the knowledge of a better tomorrow
She knew she was loved
Each and every moment of every day
Until God decided
That it was time to take her mother away
She could not understand
Why God granted her the only thing she ever needed
And left her all alone
Once accomplished, now defeated
Shortly after that horrible loss
That fateful, tragic day
She had her first ectopic pregnancy; she couldnt cry and she shutdown
For a large role in her life did it later play
She grieved and wrote down her life
As if to lay out her story for the world to hear
Her suicide letter in a sense
To explain her actions, and tell of all she held so dear
She finally made a decision
She decided that she wanted to live
She wanted to be a counselor and went back to school
She thought that maybe her pain in life left her with so much to give
She wanted to help others deal with their problems
Help them to survive their many losses and not drown in their pain
She wanted to help them see that by not giving in
There was much in this world and in their lives to gain
She had so much to do and she grew so strong
She wanted to send her abusers a message as well
She wanted to say that despite their beatings
She could do and be anything she wanted, that shed fight like hell
To regain the sparkle and light
That was once torn from her eyes
The candle flame that still faintly flickered
That was once almost put out by a little girls cries
That little girl survived a life of horror
She had a willful kind spirit that was so strong
Had she not been a fighter
She would not have held on so long
She still fights lifes battles
She has now turned twenty-five
There are many nights that she still lays in bed and cries
But the bigger picture is that she is still alive
She lost another precious pregnancy just two months back
Another ectopic that tore away
Her precious Meredith Lynn of whom she can only pray
She will hold, in Heaven, someday
She is still in school despite this horrible loss
In fact, she is about to graduate
Associates of Science in Human Services
She is so excited she almost cant wait!!!!
This is the story of my life
That didnt contain everything because it didnt rhyme
But I am here to say that despite all the grief you face
You can reach your goals and dreams if you give it time!
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